Go home :D

It's not so excited with the feeling "take a vacation back home" because of many reasons. One of the important one is HIM :p It's really difficult to be apart. Wish he could come home with me (But if this wish came true, lots of problems could happen: for instant: I couldn't hang out with my ex's (j/k) hehe ... so finally, I came home alone ... on my own ... seeing him standing out of the line in queue for checking, saying good bye to me ... tough ... we had not had enough time together ...

The flight was so crowded ... and ... annoying ... Long long time I have not heart the annoying noise when children cry ... Delay ... and delay ... and delay ... that's what I heard ...

Sitting between two old men. They couldn't stop talking to each other so loudly ... and I ... sitting between them ... suffer some kinds of language from Indonesia, and English, sometimes .... And they all the time hit/touch/or whatever unintentionally (hope so) to my arms ... couldn't sleep !!!

The food was bad ... Or because I'm so ...tough (as always) ... Luckily, my bf made some fried rice for me ... very good food in many kinds of good food he has made so far ... (So adorable ... I love him this way :D)

Stuck in Taipei for the next flight, 7 hours more because of the delay !!!! ... The service in here is not good: Phone card makes people confused. Some people working in the aiport cannot speak English ...

... Update later :D

:( Truong Sa - Hoang Sa

Recently, Chinese goverment decide to establish the new province: Tam Sa, including Truong Sa - Hoang Sa ... 2 parcel islands belonging to Vietnam - my country.
They said that they have historical evidence for that. But we knew for sure, our evidence is strong than them ... Then what?
China is strong now ...

It makes me feel so sad, so ashamed on myself: that I didn't know we lost Hoang Sa for long time ago (since 1974) ... that we have been lost, part by part, of Truong Sa recently ... I don't know what will happen. But it's so sad ... Apparently, it is easy to see that Truong Sa islands are far away from the main China, from the Hainan island. It's no sense to say that these islands belong to them !!! No sense!!!
They claims the historical evidence they have in these islands exists long long time ago. Why don't they claim that our Vietnam mainland also belong to them, 'cause they have historical evidence for that - the historical evidence gained when conquering us for more than thousand years !!!
The logic of the strong !!! No sense !!!
I know I have to distinguish between Chinese and Chinese Goverment ... But it is so tough!!!

*Picture

from TrangHa's blog

:)

Basically, I'm done ... And try to settle down ... Try to believe on myself and on the promising supports ...
I know who I am ... I know ....
Cannot believe that I can lose myself this way .... Maybe, sometimes, have to decide between two things .... two things, only one choice .... so tough ... Somehow feel hurt, very hurt to realize this fact ... Let it go naturally, who knows the future ... the only way can think about ...
So confusing ... don't make me confused this way ... so tired to play the game ... to doubt ...
... haunted with doubting ...
.................................................
wishing I could live two lives .... greedy me ... I always want to become famous !!!
............................................................................................................................................

I found myself again, on this street, driving my car in tears ...
.......... drop the line ........

Sad ... and disappointed ...

How can I say now ...
Waking up in a cold morning and figuring out I'm the loser ... Cannot think about anything ... So disappointed about myself.
It's a very hard thing to realize and accept ... just like a shame, a big shame ... How can I tell everybody I AM A LOSER !!!!
I don't know why I have this feelings, right at this moment.
because I don't want to return back to what I am supposed to do
or
because I don't want to accept the truth ... along with lots of suspections among them ... the biggest is .... who is the person who can guide me and give me the chance correctly (As Raj used to talk to me one time)

What I have and can do now is ... CALM DOWN .... and think carefully, thoughtfully about everything, about the future ... What I will be to be, become ....
CALM DOWN .... and see everything optimistically, and accept on the real fact ... learn how to accept, although it's very difficult to me ....

.................... I have a bad day !!!

:(

It's hard to start over ... I hate this fact ... but maybe they're right: It's the best thing for me; also for them.

Seminar class

In this class, some students registered to hear and evaluate the presentation. Some other registered to give a talk.
I have never registered to talk. A PhD student must give the talk two times; and attend to hear and evaluate 3 times. This is my 3rd semester, and I registered to hear 3 times already.
I find it fun and useful when hearing someone talk about his topic. You can learn new things, or at least try to challenge yourself hearing some accents that may not be a real English.
I'd love to giving the comments on the talk. And almost all the time, my comments are right. I can confirm that when looking at the way my Prof listening to my comment and nodding repeatly out of satisfaction. (There was a time when I gave a very negative feedback to a Chinese guy, and I had to send him an email for apology :D)
Today seminar was very interesting. It's about the anti-cancer effect of a kind of fungus named "winter worm and summer grass". In winter, this fungus has a shape of a worm 'cause it infects the worm and utilizes the worm's nutrient until the worm dies. Then in the summer, its has the shape like a kind of grass.
The speaker, a Chinese girl, has a very beautiful and good accent.
But the most happy thing is the way my Prof listened and agreed with my questions and comments. I like the way he looks at me ... So encouraging.... And I'm sure that he will be eager (and also curious) to see me giving the talk sometimes .... Someone who gives that kind of comments ... What will she do on her own presentation .... Hopefully, I will do a good job !
.....
I love this class ....!!!

"Feel free like a bird"

I use this statement in many situations. Today, after finishing the monthly report which had met the deadline and now is late for more than 6 days, I feel free like a bird.
I want to sing. I want to dance. I want to go home and ... sleep. I want to take my cat out for a walk.
Oops, forget to update about my cat.
Last weekend, she wanted to go out. I thought it was a right time for her 'cause she has recovered quickly after the surgery. I opened the door, and she jumped out quickly, as usual. But she didn't run away as I thought. She just followed me whenever I went. And we together went for a walk (with the real meaning of going for a walk together).
I stopped by a bench waiting for her at that time discovering a trash. Suddenly she got rid of her interest, looked around finding me, and ran into me very quickly. Oh, just like a dog ... I was surprised about that, and then realized something .... Now, maybe I am, not anything else, is the most important thing she has ....
We went around the building. I was walking on a slow speed waiting for her stopping by, discovering something, and ran into me, again and again .... So happy at that time. I felt like I had the happiness running into me whenever I go ....
As I'm typing this words, she has curled up near me and slept .... So peaceful and lovely ...
Love her so much !!!
Since the daylight saving time ended, it became so cold outside ....